Maternity Leave, Week 1

I was due to have a baby yesterday, but I still have no baby.
 
This is especially hard for me ­ a former journalist whose has been
conditioned to live according to deadlines. I feel like I just missed the
most important deadline of my life, and there's still no end in sight.
 
Every tiny twinge and cramp has me holding my breath to pay the utmost
attention in case it truly is the first contraction, but all have gone
away as quickly as they have come on.
 
Mostly, since today is Day 2 of my maternity leave, I just feel
unproductive and a little depressed. I'm a planner who carefully plotted
out the very latest date to start my leave (against the advice of
Heather, my BPA, who was absolutely certain my water would break during
an important meeting at work) to give me the most time with my son.
 
The stuffed whale that has taken up residence in the now slightly dusty
crib in the nursery that's been ready for months is a poor substitute.
 
I've been packed for the hospital for weeks now, and have included what
even I think are ridiculous items at the suggestion of several baby
websites (tennis balls inside a sock for a back massage to help with
labor pains? Like I'll even remember those are in there.). I only have to
throw my tooth and hair brushes into the bag on the way out the door, and
I'm set to go at any hour.
 
Every surface I've sat on during the month of November ­ the couch, my
bed, the car ­ has absorbent padding on it just in case I'm in that 8
percent of women whose water breaks as the first sign of labor. Both my
husband and I were convinced he'd come early ­ Brent so much so that he
chose the days of Nov. 19-21 in the baby pool he and his buddies have at
work.
 
I thought he would be early because my two close cousins who recently had
babies had them up to a week before their due dates. Plus, it seems like
Baby Mel would want more room for all of this dancing he's been doing
lately. I must say it is entertaining to lift up my shirt during these
outbursts of activity and watch my stomach roll and pop with each foot
and elbow jab. I've been told I'll miss being pregnant. While I won't
miss the constant urge to pee and uneven distribution of weight, I will
miss the dance parties.
 
But I can't even think about missing being pregnant right now because I
feel like I'm missing out on precious time with my son. I know what he
feels like. I want to know what he looks like. I want to count his fingers and toes and mentally document each new expression. I want to spend an obscene amount of time staring at him while he's sleeping. I want to feel that bond between a mother and her baby while he's nursing.
 
I want to fall in love.
 
I want to meet you soon, baby. Don't make me wait too much longer.
 
Love,
Mom

The Man and the Little Man Will Soon Be Together

Among all the baby newsletters, I often also receive baby-related e-mails from my colleagues. Here are two of the gems that made me smile throughout my pregnancy:

___________________________________________________________________________ From: Jeff DeLaRosa  Here's a strange flight of fancy to get you started…

From: Erika Meller

I fail to understand why I'm a baboon and my baby is an adult Nick Cage.

From: Brian Johnson

That is a snow monkey, not a baboon. But it's definitely Nick Cage. "The caves can't save us! Nothing can!"

From: Jeff DeLaRosa

They are snow monkeys, and I believe the white stuff is a beard of frost. All of this is symbolic of your suppressed anxieties about labor/motherhood.



_________________________________________________________________________________

From: Jeff DeLaRosa

In the spirit of all the baby info being shared, I thought I'd share this little gem from the Onion. Hopefully Erika is still checking the e-mail, as it may be of some use to her: From: Erika Meller So THAT's how it works!!! Which also explains why Brent has been so adamant about inducing so they can finally be together!!! Thanks for the info, Jeff. The expelling part looks pretty painless to me! From: Jeff DeLaRosa The expulsion is painless to the man, if a bit jarring to the little man.

Baby Newsletter Week 39 & 40

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

Hi Everyone!

BABY IS COMING SOOOOO SOON! :-) We're doing both weeks since Erika won't be here next week b/c HOPEFULLY she will have had the baby (of course not to interfere with the Michigan/Ohio State game!)

Small Baby Mini-Watermelon/Pumpkin Boy:

-Baby is getting fat to help control his body temperature

-The outer layer of skin is also "sloughing off" as new skin forms underneath (gross… I'm getting him a loofah!)

-His skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal (cool and gross)--This is called "molding" and the baby may have a goofy looking noggin at first!

-He will bring so many smiles and much love to everyone!!!!

Bigger Mama Not so mini-watermelon/Pumpkin Meller:

-Time for several checkups to keep on eye on baby's growth and position!

-There is no way to predict when the baby is coming (we did feed her spicy food and maker her jump… so hopefully today!)

-While we wait (extremely impatiently), the baby should be moving a lot and wiggling around in there.

-Only 8% of women's water breaks… who wants to guess if Mama Mel is in that 8%?!

-What to expect after: weight loss (losing 12 lbs with the baby and all the gross fluids!), hmm… there are a lot of other gross things listed in this section, I'll just tell Erika and spare all of you the horrifying details. 

Best of luck and lots of love to the soon to be parents! We are all so excited for you two and know you will make great parents! :-)

The last newsletter until the birth announcement!!!

Heather, the one, the only, official BPA.

Baby Newsletter Week 38 - We're so close, isn't it great!?

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

E JO MEL IS ABOUT TO POP!!! Well sort of, that baby is ready to meet all of us, I can feel it!  So extra prayers we can induce her here at the office! :-)

Baby Leakey:

-The baby is really plump. 

-He now has a firm grasp, so he can hold your hand or shake a blue pompon around for Michigan!

-His organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb… therefore Erika should give birth sooner, rather than later.

-Wonder what color the baby's eyes are going to be? Well don't. You may not be able to tell right away. 

-If he's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If he's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time he's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after he's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

Mama Jane Goodall:

-The waiting game we will play! It's a good time to double check the nursery! 

-We must also be taking NAPS. It is a must. This is also a good time to spend time with your ghost husband b/c when the baby comes there will be someone else getting all the attention.

-Kankles are here or at least coming. Swelling in feet and ankles is very normal. If there is rapid swelling everywhere or in certain places call the doctor quickly. 

-Also be wary of severe headaches, blurry vision, seeing spots or lights, temporary loss of vision, upper abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting- these are part of preeclampsia and need to be addressed quickly.

Here is some light reading on inducing labor!

http://www.babycenter.com/0_inducing-labor_173.bc

Happy Tuesday! The baby will be here so soon!!!!!

Heather the official BPA

Baby Newsletter Week 37: Holy Moly!

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

Wowzas! We are almost there!!!!!!!! 3 WEEKS!!!! We all think Erika's water will be breaking at work… soon! :-)

Baby Swiss Cheese:

-Baby is really long! And weighs 6 1/3 lb (give or take an ounce)!!

-Baby is also now considered "Full term"- woot woot! That means Erika should consider giving birth soon.. Like now… in the office! :-)

-If/when Erika goes into labor soon, baby's lungs are most likely mature enough to fully adjust to life outside of the womb.

-Many baby's have a full set of hair now too… who thinks Erika and Brent's baby will be hairy?!

-We also shouldn't be surprised (or worried) if the baby's hair doesn't match the parents… even if Brent is a ghost!

-"Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz." hahaha

Mama Swiss Cheese:

-Braxton Hicks contractions will be coming more frequently- Erika has already admitted she is twitching uncontrollably! Come on by and watch!

-The Hicks contractions are becoming uncomfortable, so let's all have some love for this girl!

-A nose bleed may occur, if so the baby is only a few days away!

-Anxiety about labor and becoming a parent causes EXTREME and INTENSE dreams! -"Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy." 

We're in the home stretch!!! Yay!!! Lots of love, prayers, and good karma to the soon to be parents!

-Heather The Official BPA

Baby Newsletter Weeks 35 & 36

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant): Hi Everyone, My sincerest apologies for missing last week's Baby Newsletter! We were preoccupied throwing the shower! :-)  Here is Week 35: Week 36: Baby melon (sounds pretty darn close to Meller!): -He's doing less somersaults b/c it's getting a little cramped in there! But let the kicking begin! -His kidneys are fully developed now and his liver can process some waste products… uh gross. -He's packing on the pounds- the rate is now an ounce a day! -He's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered his body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected his skin during her nine-month amniotic bath… so he's like a shedding little werwolf!  -Major grossness- the baby is also swallowing both of those substances… along with other secretions… uh have I mentioned babies are kinda gross?! Mama Melon: -The uterus is not up and under Erika's rib cage… ouch!  -There is also now more baby than amniotic fluid in there! -She def has to pee every few minutes, get's heartburn often, and there is stress on internal organs! -As the baby drops there will be an increased pressure in the lower abdomen… but the heartburn and normal meals may be easier to handle! -As the baby drops walking will become difficult and uncomfortable!  -Also- no flying at this point or roller coasters! Gotta keep that little guy safe! -Mom and Dad- you better start collecting take-out and delivery menus from local restaurants (I think Applebee's has takeout!) b/c you will NOT have time to cook the first several weeks after the baby is born!  -For first-time moms (erika) labor takes an average of 15 hours… though it is not uncommon to go more than 20! Hope everyone brought a book and an iphone… this is going to take awhile! -Also time for the parentals to make a "grapevine" aka a list of all the people you want to hear about your baby's birth! World Bookers will be excited to part of that grapevine! :-) Happy Monday!!! Heather the official BPA

Baby Newsletter Week 34

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

Baby Harvey Meller Jr. is a cantaloupe today!!! 

Baby Harv Mell:

-Baby is getting fat to help regulate the body temperature

-His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are continuing to mature

-Baby is just wiggling, moving, and being happy

Mama Harv Mell:

-The word of the week = Fatigue. Tiredness, the need to always pee, restless nights, and never being comfortable are the joys that Erika must now bear. So everyone BE NICE TO HER!

-It's time to start slowing down to save up energy for labor and beyond! No jumping up quickly, no rushing, and no catering to other people's needs!

-Be on the lookout for itchy red bumps and welts! Erika may be up the one percent of pregnant women who develop PUPPP.

-Advice from Carrie (though I have no idea who that is): turning in your sleep becomes a nightmare, the solution: Big satin pj's and satin sheets! You'll be sliding all over the place.

See you all next week!

Heather, the official BPA

"Please Take My Seat... " Or Not

One of the bonuses of being so obviously pregnant is that you get doors opened for you, elevators held for you, and a seat on a crowded bus or train... most of the time.

Yesterday was the first time no one offered to give me their seat on the bus for the 5-minute ride to the train station, and I have to admit that I was a bit miffed. I am clearly obviously pregnant, and while I didn't actually need a seat for the short jaunt ('cause if I did, I would have point-blank asked someone for theirs - I wouldn't be shy about it) it was still a little upsetting that no one at least offered (and there were clearly plenty of able-bodied people sitting right next to where I was standing).

And it bothered me not so much because I would have gladly taken a seat (my balance is not so good on these stop-and-go bus rides), but because I wonder how often this happens to people who truly need one. There are several seats right near the front of the bus marked with handicap symbols and an announcement that plays periodically asking people to reserve those seats for people with disabilities and expectant mothers.

So what about those people who are not like me and are too shy to ask another for a seat, even though they have maybe a hidden handicap like a prosthetic limb or are short of breath?

I take comfort, however, in the fact that it seemed like an isolated incident. Today, I had not one, not two, but three women offer me their seats.

"Sit here," said one, gathering up her purse and bags and starting to get up.

"No, she can have mine," said a second, as she jumped up and ushered me toward her seat.

"Oh, I was just about to offer," said a third. "I know it's hard to balance with all that extra weight."

Women just understand each other.

Baby Newsletter Week 33

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

Baby lives in a pineapple under the sea!

Baby pineapple: 

-4 pounds!!!

-He's finally losing the alien wrinkled look and his little skeleton is hardening!

-The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. 

Mama pineapple:

-waddling has begun!

-Finding comfortable sitting and sleeping positions are getting harder!

-Bumping into chairs and counters is now the norm

-Don't let her hold anything sharp… she may start feeling numbness in fingers, wrists, and hands! -Stretch your hands when you've been typing for a long time

-Heather the official BPA

Meller Baby Quiz!

1. Brent’s middle name is __________ and Erika’s middle name is ___________.

2. Brent’s first word was ___________ while Erika’s first word was __________.

3. How did Brent and Erika meet?

a.   At school

b.   At work

c.   At a bar

d.   Through Match.com

4. Why did Erika feel she should take a pregnancy test?

a.   She had what she thought was the flu for a week.

b.   She was making twice as many trips to the restroom.

c.   She just “felt pregnant.”

d.   She didn’t – she just took one as a joke.

5. What were Erika’s first words after telling Brent she was pregnant?

a.   “I’m so excited!”

b.   “I’m scared.”

c.   “Do you think I should take another test?”

d.   “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?”

6. What did Brent do immediately after Erika told him she was pregnant?

a.   A fist pump while shouting “YES!”

b.   Open the oven to signify that she had a “bun in the oven.”

c.   Stare at her blankly.

d.   Asked her to take another test to be sure.

7. How did they tell Erika’s parents that Erika was pregnant?

a.   By unveiling a cake saying “Expecting… a baby!”

b.   By putting the ultrasound picture in a “My grandkids” photo album.

c.   Over Skype while Erika was wearing a “Baby on Board” T-shirt.

d.   After scaring them by saying there would be a hospital trip in their future.

8. How did they tell Brent’s parents that Erika was pregnant?

a.   By unveiling a cake saying “Expecting… a baby!”

b.   By putting the ultrasound picture in a “My grandkids” photo album.

c.   Over Skype while Erika was wearing a “Baby on Board” T-shirt.

d.   After scaring them by saying there would be a hospital trip in their future.

9. What did Erika’s work counterpart do when she told her she was pregnant?

a.   Scream so loud that colleagues came over wondering where the fire was.

b.   Immediately declare herself the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant).

c.   Send out the first of the now weekly Baby Newsletter e-mails to the office.

d.   All of the above.

10. What was Erika’s biggest complaint during the first trimester?

a.   She was always tired.

b.   She was always having morning sickness.

c.   She was always dizzy.

d.   All of the above.

11. What’s been Erika’s biggest food craving throughout pregnancy?

a.   Chocolate

b.   Pickles

c.   Black licorice

d.   French fries

12. What did Brent do when they found out they’d be having a baby boy?

a.   Just sat there with a big grin on his face.

b.   Stared at the ultrasound technician blankly.

c.   Put both hands in the air in a silent celebration.

d.   Whoop so loudly the nurse came in to make sure everything was OK.

13. What is Erika’s least favorite part about being pregnant?

a.   The nausea

b.   The aches and pains

c.   The weight gain

d.   All of the above

14. What is Erika’s favorite part about being pregnant?

a.   Always being offered a seat on the train and bus.

b.   The regular back and foot massages.

c.   Being able to eat anything she wants.

d.   Feeling the baby move.

15. The baby’s due date is on November ________.

Answers:

1. Allen, Jo

2. Dad, Dada

3. b

4. c

5. b

6. b

7. b

8. d

9. d

10. a

11. c

12. c

13. b

14. d

15. 26

Showered With Love

Brent and I went home this weekend for my baby shower put on by my mom and sister. 

And it was beautiful.

Right after walking into the hall they rented off Samaria Road in Michigan, I saw so many special touches to make sure my day truly was special

The tables were all covered in blue tablecloths with homemade centerpieces consisting of halved gallon milk cartons wrapped in diapers and turned upside-down atop doilies. And on top of each carton was a different stuffed animal for the little guy. Every place setting also received a plastic silverware set hand-rolled in a napkin tied with a blue ribbon and a baby footprint cupcake holder full of candy.

Baby decorations were pinned to the walls and a feast of chili, stew, salad, and veggies were served to the about 30 guests in attendance. A table with an elegant cake stood off to the side flanked by baby pictures of Brent and I.

After all the guests had eaten, we played the Meller Baby Quiz! that I prepared for everyone ahead of time. Although I guess I made it a bit too hard, as the two people who got the most answers correct out of 17 were my cousins Breanne and Alexis, who answered 12 correctly.

Then, unbeknownst to me, my mom and sister played a game in which they asked everyone to write down how big my belly was. (And I refuse to acknowledge that the 42 inches it turned out to be is the relative height of a child in middle school.)

The gift-opening followed, and although I felt a little awkward to be opening presents in front of a large room of people, the adorable outfits, bibs, toys, and baby gadgets ended up being the stars of the show. 

I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family who worked so hard to throw me a gorgeous shower and make sure I'm as prepared as I can be to welcome the little guy home.

Love you guys!