Maternity Leave, Week 1

I was due to have a baby yesterday, but I still have no baby.
 
This is especially hard for me ­ a former journalist whose has been
conditioned to live according to deadlines. I feel like I just missed the
most important deadline of my life, and there's still no end in sight.
 
Every tiny twinge and cramp has me holding my breath to pay the utmost
attention in case it truly is the first contraction, but all have gone
away as quickly as they have come on.
 
Mostly, since today is Day 2 of my maternity leave, I just feel
unproductive and a little depressed. I'm a planner who carefully plotted
out the very latest date to start my leave (against the advice of
Heather, my BPA, who was absolutely certain my water would break during
an important meeting at work) to give me the most time with my son.
 
The stuffed whale that has taken up residence in the now slightly dusty
crib in the nursery that's been ready for months is a poor substitute.
 
I've been packed for the hospital for weeks now, and have included what
even I think are ridiculous items at the suggestion of several baby
websites (tennis balls inside a sock for a back massage to help with
labor pains? Like I'll even remember those are in there.). I only have to
throw my tooth and hair brushes into the bag on the way out the door, and
I'm set to go at any hour.
 
Every surface I've sat on during the month of November ­ the couch, my
bed, the car ­ has absorbent padding on it just in case I'm in that 8
percent of women whose water breaks as the first sign of labor. Both my
husband and I were convinced he'd come early ­ Brent so much so that he
chose the days of Nov. 19-21 in the baby pool he and his buddies have at
work.
 
I thought he would be early because my two close cousins who recently had
babies had them up to a week before their due dates. Plus, it seems like
Baby Mel would want more room for all of this dancing he's been doing
lately. I must say it is entertaining to lift up my shirt during these
outbursts of activity and watch my stomach roll and pop with each foot
and elbow jab. I've been told I'll miss being pregnant. While I won't
miss the constant urge to pee and uneven distribution of weight, I will
miss the dance parties.
 
But I can't even think about missing being pregnant right now because I
feel like I'm missing out on precious time with my son. I know what he
feels like. I want to know what he looks like. I want to count his fingers and toes and mentally document each new expression. I want to spend an obscene amount of time staring at him while he's sleeping. I want to feel that bond between a mother and her baby while he's nursing.
 
I want to fall in love.
 
I want to meet you soon, baby. Don't make me wait too much longer.
 
Love,
Mom

The Man and the Little Man Will Soon Be Together

Among all the baby newsletters, I often also receive baby-related e-mails from my colleagues. Here are two of the gems that made me smile throughout my pregnancy:

___________________________________________________________________________ From: Jeff DeLaRosa  Here's a strange flight of fancy to get you started…

From: Erika Meller

I fail to understand why I'm a baboon and my baby is an adult Nick Cage.

From: Brian Johnson

That is a snow monkey, not a baboon. But it's definitely Nick Cage. "The caves can't save us! Nothing can!"

From: Jeff DeLaRosa

They are snow monkeys, and I believe the white stuff is a beard of frost. All of this is symbolic of your suppressed anxieties about labor/motherhood.



_________________________________________________________________________________

From: Jeff DeLaRosa

In the spirit of all the baby info being shared, I thought I'd share this little gem from the Onion. Hopefully Erika is still checking the e-mail, as it may be of some use to her: From: Erika Meller So THAT's how it works!!! Which also explains why Brent has been so adamant about inducing so they can finally be together!!! Thanks for the info, Jeff. The expelling part looks pretty painless to me! From: Jeff DeLaRosa The expulsion is painless to the man, if a bit jarring to the little man.

Baby Newsletter Week 39 & 40

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

Hi Everyone!

BABY IS COMING SOOOOO SOON! :-) We're doing both weeks since Erika won't be here next week b/c HOPEFULLY she will have had the baby (of course not to interfere with the Michigan/Ohio State game!)

Small Baby Mini-Watermelon/Pumpkin Boy:

-Baby is getting fat to help control his body temperature

-The outer layer of skin is also "sloughing off" as new skin forms underneath (gross… I'm getting him a loofah!)

-His skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal (cool and gross)--This is called "molding" and the baby may have a goofy looking noggin at first!

-He will bring so many smiles and much love to everyone!!!!

Bigger Mama Not so mini-watermelon/Pumpkin Meller:

-Time for several checkups to keep on eye on baby's growth and position!

-There is no way to predict when the baby is coming (we did feed her spicy food and maker her jump… so hopefully today!)

-While we wait (extremely impatiently), the baby should be moving a lot and wiggling around in there.

-Only 8% of women's water breaks… who wants to guess if Mama Mel is in that 8%?!

-What to expect after: weight loss (losing 12 lbs with the baby and all the gross fluids!), hmm… there are a lot of other gross things listed in this section, I'll just tell Erika and spare all of you the horrifying details. 

Best of luck and lots of love to the soon to be parents! We are all so excited for you two and know you will make great parents! :-)

The last newsletter until the birth announcement!!!

Heather, the one, the only, official BPA.

Baby Newsletter Week 38 - We're so close, isn't it great!?

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

E JO MEL IS ABOUT TO POP!!! Well sort of, that baby is ready to meet all of us, I can feel it!  So extra prayers we can induce her here at the office! :-)

Baby Leakey:

-The baby is really plump. 

-He now has a firm grasp, so he can hold your hand or shake a blue pompon around for Michigan!

-His organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb… therefore Erika should give birth sooner, rather than later.

-Wonder what color the baby's eyes are going to be? Well don't. You may not be able to tell right away. 

-If he's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If he's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time he's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after he's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

Mama Jane Goodall:

-The waiting game we will play! It's a good time to double check the nursery! 

-We must also be taking NAPS. It is a must. This is also a good time to spend time with your ghost husband b/c when the baby comes there will be someone else getting all the attention.

-Kankles are here or at least coming. Swelling in feet and ankles is very normal. If there is rapid swelling everywhere or in certain places call the doctor quickly. 

-Also be wary of severe headaches, blurry vision, seeing spots or lights, temporary loss of vision, upper abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting- these are part of preeclampsia and need to be addressed quickly.

Here is some light reading on inducing labor!

http://www.babycenter.com/0_inducing-labor_173.bc

Happy Tuesday! The baby will be here so soon!!!!!

Heather the official BPA

Baby Newsletter Week 37: Holy Moly!

Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):

Wowzas! We are almost there!!!!!!!! 3 WEEKS!!!! We all think Erika's water will be breaking at work… soon! :-)

Baby Swiss Cheese:

-Baby is really long! And weighs 6 1/3 lb (give or take an ounce)!!

-Baby is also now considered "Full term"- woot woot! That means Erika should consider giving birth soon.. Like now… in the office! :-)

-If/when Erika goes into labor soon, baby's lungs are most likely mature enough to fully adjust to life outside of the womb.

-Many baby's have a full set of hair now too… who thinks Erika and Brent's baby will be hairy?!

-We also shouldn't be surprised (or worried) if the baby's hair doesn't match the parents… even if Brent is a ghost!

-"Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz." hahaha

Mama Swiss Cheese:

-Braxton Hicks contractions will be coming more frequently- Erika has already admitted she is twitching uncontrollably! Come on by and watch!

-The Hicks contractions are becoming uncomfortable, so let's all have some love for this girl!

-A nose bleed may occur, if so the baby is only a few days away!

-Anxiety about labor and becoming a parent causes EXTREME and INTENSE dreams! -"Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy." 

We're in the home stretch!!! Yay!!! Lots of love, prayers, and good karma to the soon to be parents!

-Heather The Official BPA