Colin is nearly 10 weeks old.
Oh how far I’ve come.
Today at my weekly “Mommy and Me” group, a new mom of a 4-week-old declined my offer to join the rest of us for lunch because she hadn’t brought a bottle for her son because she didn’t anticipate being away from home for more than two hours, and therefore wasn’t prepared.
That used to be me.
When my mother-in-law came to stay with us when Colin was two weeks old, she used to question my decision to not bring the diaper bag when we were only going to the grocery store or the doctor’s office. That poor choice left me with an infant with spit-up all over his onesie (not to mention my own shirt), poop on the inside of his pants, and no diaper to put on him after the nurse took it off to weigh him. Now I find myself using the diaper bag as my purse even when I leave Colin home with Brent!
In the beginning, I used to be clueless about what to do when he cried, and felt helpless that I didn’t know what to do to make him happy. It seems obvious, but I have come to realize and accept that crying is a baby’s only form of communication. They cry for everything from “I’m hungry” to “There’s a cold draft down here so I don’t want to be on my play mat anymore.” While that’s a pretty long list as to why Colin might be crying, I have learned that he really does have certain cries that mean certain things, so I am more confident that I can quickly figure out what he needs.
His most common cry is the whiny “wah… wah” cry that simply means “I’m bored/I’m ready to do something else/I want to be held.” This is the one I’ve learned that I can ignore for awhile if I’m busy doing something else because it’s not that serious and he usually eventually finds something to look at that distracts and amuses him. Plus he wants to be held pretty much all the time and sometimes mom needs a break from lifting her more-than-11-pound child!
What’s more serious is the hungry cry, which is more shrill and not-so-ironically sounds like he’s saying “ma, ma, maaaaaaa!”
He also has the so-very-helpful “Oh hell no this is so NOT what I need; try again IMMEDIATELY” cry, although I try to stay a few steps ahead of when I anticipate he’ll bust out that one because it’s so horrible to hear.
But nothing is as horrible as the “That hurts” cry, which I’ve thankfully heard only twice – both times at the doctor’s office when he was getting shots. I couldn’t help crying both times I’ve heard this one, and can only pray to God that I don’t have to hear it other than for good reasons, like his getting vaccinations to keep him healthy.
Besides being more confident about taking care of his needs, he’s just getting to be more fun in so many ways. He freely gives the most adorable wide toothless smiles when I smile or talk to him, and while he doesn’t yet really interact with any toys, he at least enjoys watching the ones that light up or that I wave in front of him.
Plus now that I’m a mom I can now have “mom friends” who I’ve met through the previously mentioned “Mommy and Me” group offered by the hospital where I gave birth. Boy did I look forward to that 90-minute-long group every Tuesday morning in the beginning of my maternity leave because it was my only opportunity to share stories, vent, and swap ideas with women who were also navigating their way through early motherhood.
And while I still look forward to that group, I don’t have to wait for Tuesday to roll around to have something to do with my mom friends because we have figured out other things to do nearly every day of the week. There’s mall walking on Monday or Wednesday afternoon, lunch on Tuesdays after the group, play time at the library on Friday mornings followed by brunch at one of our homes, and Saturday play dates at one of our homes so we can include the moms we’ve met who have gone back to work.
Some days I feel like I’m more than ready to go back to work, but for now I’m enjoying my mom friends, sleeping in (which Colin allows me to do as long as I bring him in bed with me to cuddle), running errands at crowd-free stores, napping on the couch with Colin at all hours of the day, and all the time in the world to smile at my baby and see him smile back.
