Dear Colin... (7 months)

Dear Colin:

I cried the entire way to the airport. I was glad it was dark so the cab driver couldn’t see me wiping away my tears as he drove me further and further away from you.

I made him wait for me in our driveway for a brief time because I didn’t want to stop squeezing you and planting kisses on those sweet squishy cheek to put you back in your crib. I knew it’d be the last time I held you for nearly a week, and at the time, it seemed like a week that would last an eternity.

I was heading out on a business trip to Texas for five days – the longest period of time I’ve ever left you. I knew I was leaving you in good hands – we called your Mimi Meller to hang out with you and your daddy while I was gone – but it was still heartbreaking knowing I wouldn’t have you in my arms for nearly a week.

I cried one more time during that business trip – and that was when your daddy texted me that your Mimi Meller had told him that she had heard your first word. Dada. I was heartbroken that I wasn't there to hear it. I tried to console myself by telling myself that it wasn't a real word; it was just a sound and you didn't know what it meant. But it was a milestone that I wasn't there to witness, and it made me upset.

I know I'll be around for many more milestones, both big and small, but that just seemed like one of the biggest ones. You're also just on the verge of thinking about crawling - even though you're an absolute pro at rolling from one place to another - but I stared into your eyes before I left and made you promise that you wouldn't crawl while I was gone. I just didn't think to make you promise you'd stay mute until I got back, too! 

The best thing about going on that business trip, though, was the excitement and anticipation about coming home to see you after such a long time. I made it home before you went to bed, and the smile I got from you when you saw me walk through the door was absolutely priceless.

I swear I came back to a different kid, though - one much bigger and heavier than the one I left. At least it seemed that way. You're growing up so fast, buddy. Slow down and let mommy savor it a little more, would ya?

Love,

Mom