First Scare Already

You scared me today baby. You scared me to tears on numerous occasions throughout the day before the doctor could tell me that everything still looked OK.

It started with about 10 minutes of cramping that felt like the worst period cramps I've ever had yesterday evening. There was no bleeding, but then I was up again for about an hour early this morning with the heating pad, Tylenol, and tossing from side to side while crying in pain. 

But then the cramping subsided and I went to work dialing the doctor just to make sure this was normal. (I have no idea what's normal.)

I finally was able to reach someone at the doctor's office right before heading up the elevator to my office. I explained my concern to the nurse, and she said she would call me back after talking to the doctor.

So of course I did the rational thing and started crying while dialing Brent's office number, then when he answered immediately started babbling about how it was serious enough for the nurse to have to consult the doctor.

Thank God for Brent. Brent my rock, Brent my voice of reason, Brent my rational side. He told me that of course the nurse was going to consult with a doctor and that he wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to see me just in case. Then he made sure I was done crying and told me to head up to work and wait for the nurse's call.

About 20 minutes later the nurse called and confirmed that yes the doctor did want to see me as soon as possible, which brought on another flood of tears just in time for me to hang up the phone and see that my boss had walked over to my cube to wish me a good morning. She took one look at me and asked me if I wanted to join her in her office presumably so I could cry with the door shut.

I mumbled a yes, and grabbed a tissue while she tried to convince me to just go home. But since my appointment wasn't until 3 p.m., I told her I'd feel better just being at work with something to do instead of at home just worrying and waiting. I kept saying that this is not like I'm sick; this is my baby. This is my child. It's not OK if everything is not OK.

So instead she spent time trying to convince me that everything I was describing sounded like something one of her pregnant friend experienced before having a perfectly healthy baby. And the other female member of my work team then came in with a printout of why the cramping was most likely normal and her mom, who's an OB-GYN, on the phone. Did I mention how much I love my team? 

And thankfully a visit to the doctor showed that everything with the baby was fine, even though it took probably a good 15 seconds before the doctor could find the heartbeat with her portable device, giving me another mini panic attack. 


Geez baby. You're not even close to being here yet and already I'm getting a taste of the lifetime of worry I'm going to experience.


Thank God for your dad.