Colin is six weeks old today. I made it.
While I was pregnant, I was told by several experienced parents that the first six weeks of an infant’s life are the hardest on the parents, what with all the sleep deprivation, the hormone roller coaster, and mysterious crying fits, not to mention all the uncertainties that come with the territory of a new baby. Since the first few days at home with him, I’ve had that arbitrary milestone in the back of my mind during the horrible low points when he just wouldn’t stop crying—or I wouldn’t stop crying—as the time when it would get better.
And I think I can pinpoint the exact moment it seemed like I was actually getting comfortable in my new role as a parent. I had already strapped Colin in his car seat, which with all the buckles and straps is not an easy feat, when I remembered I needed to get a package ready to drop off at the post office. About that time, Colin started to fuss, which quickly turned into a cry. Since it would not have been practical to unstrap him to hold in one arm while trying to wrangle packing tape with another, I hurried to get the task done so I could tend to his needs. But then something incredible happened.
He stopped crying. Without my intervention.
Before that moment, every time I heard so much as a whine, I was checking his diaper, seeing if he wanted to nurse, making sure he was not too hot or cold, moving him to a different location in case he was bored with his surroundings, or waving a toy in front of his face. It was utterly exhausting.
I was amazed not only that he apparently really can soothe or distract himself, but that he himself had to teach me that he was capable of it. Since that moment, I check on him whenever he starts to fuss in earnest in case it’s because he’s slid too far down in his still too-big swing or his bib has flipped up in his face and he can’t figure out how to get it down. But I don’t jump up at every baby noise or the start of every crying fit, and many times can finish what I’m doing and go on to the next because he really is OK without me for a bit.
This means freedom. That’s what it feels like even though in reality it is just a little slice of freedom. It’s the freedom to do small projects around the house like set up the bike trainer, figure out how to set up and get Netflix on our new Blu-ray player, and upload the latest batch of adorable baby photos to my Flickr account.
Along with this newfound freedom, I love the fact that I am starting to see glimmers of discovery in Colin. He’s just starting to notice the small animals dangling above his head when he’s on his play mat and recognize me by sight and not just by smell or voice. But my favorite discovery as of late is that he’s starting to pay attention to music and even attempts to “sing” (meaning he’s more vocal whenever music is playing). I can even settle him down sometimes just by hitting the Music icon on my iPhone and clicking “Shuffle” because he needs to quiet down to hear the song.
Along those lines, my new favorite activity is cooking in the kitchen because he’s entertained for more than an hour with my iPhone playing music on the blanket he’s lying on within view of me singing into a wooden spoon and dancing to the beat. Well, he’s either entertained or paying extra attention to my ridiculous attempt at trying to dance so he can accurately recall it later to a therapist when he’s listing ways that I embarrassed him during his childhood.
Now that I’ve reached this six-week milestone, I feel like I’m finally not waiting for it to get better.
It already is.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Maternity Leave, Week 4
“I’m going to need more things to do,” I said to my mom about two months ago as I was preparing for my maternity leave.
With my looming 12 weeks off of work – including a six-week hiatus from my freelance work – I had visions of daily blogging, weekly maternity leave newsletter updates, opportunities to enjoy my hobbies, and time for projects I’ve been wanting to do forever… all while the baby is sleeping of course because all babies really do is sleep (and eat and poop of course).
How freaking stupid and naïve.
Colin is one month old today. If I can take a shower that lasts an entire five minutes or go to the bathroom by myself without hearing him cry or needing to do something for him, I consider it a good and productive day.
Now don’t get me wrong – I love my son more than anything in this world and absolutely love being a mom. And I knew having a baby would drastically change my life. I just had no idea that parenting an infant would completely consume me. How can someone so tiny demand so much?
There will be days Brent comes home from work at 6:30 p.m. and ask me what I did that day. Most days, I’m completely exhausted by that time and feel like I’ve been going nonstop, yet can’t think of a single thing to tell him. Sure I fed the baby and soothed the baby and changed the baby around the clock but as far as doing something? Not so much. My mom says that what I’ve done on these days is be a mom, so therefore I have done the most important job. I try to remember that on the days I don’t brush my hair or even change out of my pajamas. Which is often.
When I do actually do something, it’s after I make sure Colin is fed and happy before handing him off to Brent. Unfortunately, it’s not so I can take a bubble bath. It’s so I can have two hands to toss a load of laundry into the washing machine, pay some bills, and get the garbage gathered for pickup. These things gotta get done sometime!
And to make Colin happy, someone usually has to not only hold him so his head can rest atop a shoulder, but also pat him on the back with the other hand, leaving no free hand to make lunch, turn the pages of a book or magazine, or even peck on a keyboard. Since there’s only so much you can do with a baby sprawled out on top of you, I’m usually found in front of the TV or snoozing right along with him – neither of which makes me feel very productive.
When the weather allows, I make up errands to do. Yes, going to the post office to mail bills instead of dropping them in a nearby mailbox counts as an errand. So does picking up a gallon of milk at the grocery store. I stretch these outings out instead of clustering them together so I can breathe some fresh air as often as possible outside of the house. And these errands are actually enjoyable because Colin does like riding in the car, and usually falls asleep in the car seat. But if he wakes up while I’m pushing him and his car seat in the grocery cart? Let’s just say I’ve learned how to push a cart with my torso and steer it with my elbows and feet while holding my kid and patting his back to stave off a crying fit and the subsequent embarrassment from getting annoyed looks from other shoppers for being “that person” with the bawling kid.
Speaking of my feet – I never knew how underused they were before having a kid. I used to use them pretty much exclusively for getting from Point A to Point B. Now I use them to pick up blankets or burp cloths, to open the door to let the dog out, and to rock his cradle.
Though I underestimated the amount of myself I’d have to give this kid, I also underestimated the amount of joy he’d give me in return. He’s all smiles after breakfast, no matter what time we eat. He smells like a baby even if I don’t rub him head to toe with baby lotion. He makes the most adorable squeaking noises and facial expressions in his sleep. He kicks his legs vigorously like he’s swimming when he’s sitting up in his bathtub. Ceiling fans and laundry being folded are fascinating. So am I, apparently, even when I’m not making funny faces at him because I’ll catch those big baby blues of his staring right at me while I’m doing even the most mundane tasks. He’s completely content while nursing and protests loudly whenever I put him down, which means he’s happiest when he’s with me and we’re cuddling.
So while I definitely don’t need more to do because taking care of this kid is more than enough, I don’t want to do anything else.
Love you, Colin.
Love,
Mom
With my looming 12 weeks off of work – including a six-week hiatus from my freelance work – I had visions of daily blogging, weekly maternity leave newsletter updates, opportunities to enjoy my hobbies, and time for projects I’ve been wanting to do forever… all while the baby is sleeping of course because all babies really do is sleep (and eat and poop of course).
How freaking stupid and naïve.
Colin is one month old today. If I can take a shower that lasts an entire five minutes or go to the bathroom by myself without hearing him cry or needing to do something for him, I consider it a good and productive day.
Now don’t get me wrong – I love my son more than anything in this world and absolutely love being a mom. And I knew having a baby would drastically change my life. I just had no idea that parenting an infant would completely consume me. How can someone so tiny demand so much?
There will be days Brent comes home from work at 6:30 p.m. and ask me what I did that day. Most days, I’m completely exhausted by that time and feel like I’ve been going nonstop, yet can’t think of a single thing to tell him. Sure I fed the baby and soothed the baby and changed the baby around the clock but as far as doing something? Not so much. My mom says that what I’ve done on these days is be a mom, so therefore I have done the most important job. I try to remember that on the days I don’t brush my hair or even change out of my pajamas. Which is often.
When I do actually do something, it’s after I make sure Colin is fed and happy before handing him off to Brent. Unfortunately, it’s not so I can take a bubble bath. It’s so I can have two hands to toss a load of laundry into the washing machine, pay some bills, and get the garbage gathered for pickup. These things gotta get done sometime!
And to make Colin happy, someone usually has to not only hold him so his head can rest atop a shoulder, but also pat him on the back with the other hand, leaving no free hand to make lunch, turn the pages of a book or magazine, or even peck on a keyboard. Since there’s only so much you can do with a baby sprawled out on top of you, I’m usually found in front of the TV or snoozing right along with him – neither of which makes me feel very productive.
When the weather allows, I make up errands to do. Yes, going to the post office to mail bills instead of dropping them in a nearby mailbox counts as an errand. So does picking up a gallon of milk at the grocery store. I stretch these outings out instead of clustering them together so I can breathe some fresh air as often as possible outside of the house. And these errands are actually enjoyable because Colin does like riding in the car, and usually falls asleep in the car seat. But if he wakes up while I’m pushing him and his car seat in the grocery cart? Let’s just say I’ve learned how to push a cart with my torso and steer it with my elbows and feet while holding my kid and patting his back to stave off a crying fit and the subsequent embarrassment from getting annoyed looks from other shoppers for being “that person” with the bawling kid.
Speaking of my feet – I never knew how underused they were before having a kid. I used to use them pretty much exclusively for getting from Point A to Point B. Now I use them to pick up blankets or burp cloths, to open the door to let the dog out, and to rock his cradle.
Though I underestimated the amount of myself I’d have to give this kid, I also underestimated the amount of joy he’d give me in return. He’s all smiles after breakfast, no matter what time we eat. He smells like a baby even if I don’t rub him head to toe with baby lotion. He makes the most adorable squeaking noises and facial expressions in his sleep. He kicks his legs vigorously like he’s swimming when he’s sitting up in his bathtub. Ceiling fans and laundry being folded are fascinating. So am I, apparently, even when I’m not making funny faces at him because I’ll catch those big baby blues of his staring right at me while I’m doing even the most mundane tasks. He’s completely content while nursing and protests loudly whenever I put him down, which means he’s happiest when he’s with me and we’re cuddling.
So while I definitely don’t need more to do because taking care of this kid is more than enough, I don’t want to do anything else.
Love you, Colin.
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Maternity Leave, Week 1
I was due to have a baby yesterday, but I still have no baby.
This is especially hard for me a former journalist whose has been
conditioned to live according to deadlines. I feel like I just missed the
most important deadline of my life, and there's still no end in sight.
Every tiny twinge and cramp has me holding my breath to pay the utmost
attention in case it truly is the first contraction, but all have gone
away as quickly as they have come on.
Mostly, since today is Day 2 of my maternity leave, I just feel
unproductive and a little depressed. I'm a planner who carefully plotted
out the very latest date to start my leave (against the advice of
Heather, my BPA, who was absolutely certain my water would break during
an important meeting at work) to give me the most time with my son.
The stuffed whale that has taken up residence in the now slightly dusty
crib in the nursery that's been ready for months is a poor substitute.
I've been packed for the hospital for weeks now, and have included what
even I think are ridiculous items at the suggestion of several baby
websites (tennis balls inside a sock for a back massage to help with
labor pains? Like I'll even remember those are in there.). I only have to
throw my tooth and hair brushes into the bag on the way out the door, and
I'm set to go at any hour.
Every surface I've sat on during the month of November the couch, my
bed, the car has absorbent padding on it just in case I'm in that 8
percent of women whose water breaks as the first sign of labor. Both my
husband and I were convinced he'd come early Brent so much so that he
chose the days of Nov. 19-21 in the baby pool he and his buddies have at
work.
I thought he would be early because my two close cousins who recently had
babies had them up to a week before their due dates. Plus, it seems like
Baby Mel would want more room for all of this dancing he's been doing
lately. I must say it is entertaining to lift up my shirt during these
outbursts of activity and watch my stomach roll and pop with each foot
and elbow jab. I've been told I'll miss being pregnant. While I won't
miss the constant urge to pee and uneven distribution of weight, I will
miss the dance parties.
But I can't even think about missing being pregnant right now because I
feel like I'm missing out on precious time with my son. I know what he
feels like. I want to know what he looks like. I want to count his fingers and toes and mentally document each new expression. I want to spend an obscene amount of time staring at him while he's sleeping. I want to feel that bond between a mother and her baby while he's nursing.
I want to fall in love.
I want to meet you soon, baby. Don't make me wait too much longer.
Love,
Mom
This is especially hard for me a former journalist whose has been
conditioned to live according to deadlines. I feel like I just missed the
most important deadline of my life, and there's still no end in sight.
Every tiny twinge and cramp has me holding my breath to pay the utmost
attention in case it truly is the first contraction, but all have gone
away as quickly as they have come on.
Mostly, since today is Day 2 of my maternity leave, I just feel
unproductive and a little depressed. I'm a planner who carefully plotted
out the very latest date to start my leave (against the advice of
Heather, my BPA, who was absolutely certain my water would break during
an important meeting at work) to give me the most time with my son.
The stuffed whale that has taken up residence in the now slightly dusty
crib in the nursery that's been ready for months is a poor substitute.
I've been packed for the hospital for weeks now, and have included what
even I think are ridiculous items at the suggestion of several baby
websites (tennis balls inside a sock for a back massage to help with
labor pains? Like I'll even remember those are in there.). I only have to
throw my tooth and hair brushes into the bag on the way out the door, and
I'm set to go at any hour.
Every surface I've sat on during the month of November the couch, my
bed, the car has absorbent padding on it just in case I'm in that 8
percent of women whose water breaks as the first sign of labor. Both my
husband and I were convinced he'd come early Brent so much so that he
chose the days of Nov. 19-21 in the baby pool he and his buddies have at
work.
I thought he would be early because my two close cousins who recently had
babies had them up to a week before their due dates. Plus, it seems like
Baby Mel would want more room for all of this dancing he's been doing
lately. I must say it is entertaining to lift up my shirt during these
outbursts of activity and watch my stomach roll and pop with each foot
and elbow jab. I've been told I'll miss being pregnant. While I won't
miss the constant urge to pee and uneven distribution of weight, I will
miss the dance parties.
But I can't even think about missing being pregnant right now because I
feel like I'm missing out on precious time with my son. I know what he
feels like. I want to know what he looks like. I want to count his fingers and toes and mentally document each new expression. I want to spend an obscene amount of time staring at him while he's sleeping. I want to feel that bond between a mother and her baby while he's nursing.
I want to fall in love.
I want to meet you soon, baby. Don't make me wait too much longer.
Love,
Mom
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Man and the Little Man Will Soon Be Together
Among all the baby newsletters, I often also receive baby-related e-mails from my colleagues. Here are two of the gems that made me smile throughout my pregnancy:
I fail to understand why I'm a baboon and my baby is an adult Nick Cage.
___________________________________________________________________________ From: Jeff DeLaRosa
Here's a strange flight of fancy to get you started…
|
From: Erika Meller
I fail to understand why I'm a baboon and my baby is an adult Nick Cage.
From: Brian Johnson
That is a snow monkey, not a baboon. But it's definitely Nick Cage. "The caves can't save us! Nothing can!"
From: Jeff DeLaRosa
They are snow monkeys, and I believe the white stuff is a beard of
frost. All of this is symbolic of your suppressed anxieties about
labor/motherhood.
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
From: Jeff DeLaRosa
In the spirit of all the baby info being shared, I thought I'd share this little gem from the Onion. Hopefully Erika is still checking the e-mail, as it may be of some use to her:
 From: Erika Meller
So THAT's how it works!!! Which also explains why Brent has been so adamant about inducing so they can finally be together!!! Thanks for the info, Jeff. The expelling part looks pretty painless to me!
From: Jeff DeLaRosa
The expulsion is painless to the man, if a bit jarring to the little man.
|
Monday, November 19, 2012
Baby Newsletter Week 39 & 40
Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):
Hi Everyone!
BABY IS COMING SOOOOO SOON! :-) We're doing both weeks since Erika
won't be here next week b/c HOPEFULLY she will have had the baby (of
course not to interfere with the Michigan/Ohio State game!)
Small Baby Mini-Watermelon/Pumpkin Boy:
-Baby is getting fat to help control his body temperature
-The outer layer of skin is also "sloughing off" as new skin forms underneath (gross… I'm getting him a loofah!)
-His skull bones are not yet fused, which allows them to overlap a
bit if it's a snug fit through the birth canal (cool and gross)--This is
called "molding" and the baby may have a goofy looking noggin at first!
-He will bring so many smiles and much love to everyone!!!!
Bigger Mama Not so mini-watermelon/Pumpkin Meller:
-Time for several checkups to keep on eye on baby's growth and position!
-There is no way to predict when the baby is coming (we did feed her spicy food and maker her jump… so hopefully today!)
-While we wait (extremely impatiently), the baby should be moving a lot and wiggling around in there.
-Only 8% of women's water breaks… who wants to guess if Mama Mel is in that 8%?!
-What to expect after: weight loss (losing 12 lbs with the baby and
all the gross fluids!), hmm… there are a lot of other gross things
listed in this section, I'll just tell Erika and spare all of you the
horrifying details.
Best of luck and lots of love to the soon to be parents! We are all
so excited for you two and know you will make great parents! :-)
The last newsletter until the birth announcement!!!
Heather, the one, the only, official BPA.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Baby Newsletter Week 38 - We're so close, isn't it great!?
Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):
E JO MEL IS ABOUT TO POP!!! Well sort of, that baby is ready to
meet all of us, I can feel it! So extra prayers we can induce her here
at the office! :-)
Baby Leakey:
-The baby is really plump.
-He now has a firm grasp, so he can hold your hand or shake a blue pompon around for Michigan!
-His organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb… therefore Erika should give birth sooner, rather than later.
-Wonder what color the baby's eyes are going to be? Well don't. You may not be able to tell right away.
-If
he's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If he's born with
steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green,
hazel, or brown by the time he's 9 months old. That's because a
child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in
the
months
after he's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue.
(Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue
eyes.)
Mama Jane Goodall:
-The waiting game we will play! It's a good time to double check the nursery!
-We must also be taking NAPS. It is a must. This is also a good
time to spend time with your ghost husband b/c when the baby comes there
will be someone else getting all the attention.
-Kankles are here or at least coming. Swelling in feet and ankles
is very normal. If there is rapid swelling everywhere or in certain
places call the doctor quickly.
-Also be wary of severe headaches, blurry vision, seeing spots or
lights, temporary loss of vision, upper abdominal pain, nausea,
vomiting- these are part of preeclampsia and need to be addressed
quickly.
Here is some light reading on inducing labor!
Happy Tuesday! The baby will be here so soon!!!!!
Heather the official BPA
Monday, November 5, 2012
Baby Newsletter Week 37: Holy Moly!
Below is a copy of one of the weekly newsletters my friend, Heather, sent to our friends at work during my pregnancy as the BPA (Baby Personal Assistant):
Wowzas! We are almost there!!!!!!!! 3 WEEKS!!!! We all think Erika's water will be breaking at work… soon! :-)
Wowzas! We are almost there!!!!!!!! 3 WEEKS!!!! We all think Erika's water will be breaking at work… soon! :-)
Baby Swiss Cheese:
-Baby is really long! And weighs 6 1/3 lb (give or take an ounce)!!
-Baby is also now considered "Full term"- woot woot! That means
Erika should consider giving birth soon.. Like now… in the office! :-)
-If/when Erika goes into labor soon, baby's lungs are most likely mature enough to fully adjust to life outside of the womb.
-Many baby's have a full set of hair now too… who thinks Erika and Brent's baby will be hairy?!
-We also shouldn't be surprised (or worried) if the baby's hair doesn't match the parents… even if Brent is a ghost!
-"Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their
children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have
been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies
sport only peach fuzz." hahaha
Mama Swiss Cheese:
-Braxton Hicks contractions will be coming more frequently- Erika
has already admitted she is twitching uncontrollably! Come on by and
watch!
-The Hicks contractions are becoming uncomfortable, so let's all have some love for this girl!
-A nose bleed may occur, if so the baby is only a few days away!
-Anxiety about labor and becoming a parent causes EXTREME and
INTENSE dreams! -"Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent
can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy."
We're in the home stretch!!! Yay!!! Lots of love, prayers, and good karma to the soon to be parents!
-Heather The Official BPA
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